it's about perspective

G is the Brit professor that gave all the staff a headache when he's on board.
He is rude. inconsistent. impatient. and make sarcastic jokes and write crazily in the emails.

However, Al was telling me he was very very cute yesterday upon receiving exchange students from Japan. Not only he speaks Japanese, but also made funny jokes. And the kids loved him, took pictures with him.

Funny jokes? Adorable?

I guess he is still the same person I know.
However, I guess different charm works in different context.

It's the perspective, baby. ;)

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

never apologize for the truth
never apologize for the truth
never apologize for the truth

I can empathize
I can sympathize
and I also have to do my job

don't feel bad
don't feel stupid
if this has to be done, this has to be done

if I cannot change the rule
then I need to obey it
and protect people from getting trouble

YES!

replied a clueless and confusing email with elegance and preciseness.
feeling good.
I am so cool~

Also, thanks my supporting colleague and supervisor.;)

memory

I was browsing our Ofoto albums
saw this picture.
the guy was in such a deep sleep in the morning train
I pretended to take picture of baby so I can take a shot

I almost forgot about it, until I saw it today.
I don't remember which train we were on in Kansai
don't remember where we were going
don't remember what date it was
but looking at it reminds me how fun our trip was.

every trip I came back, I used to write down the details
so a few years later, when I look back, I will remember where I have been
or, like a diary, I always wanted to writ down, so I will remember what happened.

however, more and more, I realize
for the places I've visited, things I've been through, people I've met
even I will forget, it doesn't change the fact, it has happened

I don't have to remember every single one of them
the truth is, it has happened
at that very moment, it once took place in my life
at the time it will never be given back.

If I am lucky enough to have a trace of the memory
just like the picture
It will put a smile on my face

Casablanca by Higgins Bertie

overheard this beautiful song from Taiwanese online radio.
----


I fell in love with you watching Casablanca
Back row of the drive in show in the flickering light
Popcorn and cokes beneath the stars became champagne and caviar
Making love on a long hot summers night

I thought you fell in love with me watching Casablanca
Holding hands 'neath the paddle fans in Rick's Candle lit cafe
Hiding in the shadows from the spies. Moroccan moonlight in your eyes
Making magic at the movies in my old chevrolet

Oh! A kiss is still a kiss in Casablanca
But a kiss is not a kiss without your sigh


Please come back to me in Casablanca
I love you more and more each day as time goes by

I guess there're many broken hearts in Casablanca
You know I've never really been there. so, I don't know
I guess our love story will never be seen on the big wide silver screen
But it hurt just as bad when I had to watch you go

Oh! A kiss is still a kiss in Casablanca
But a kiss is not a kiss without your sigh
Please come back to me in Casablanca
I love you more and more each day as time goes by
Oh! A kiss is still a kiss in Casablanca
But a kiss is not a kiss without your sigh

Please come back to me in Casablanca
I love you more and more each day as time goes by
I love you more and more each day as time goes by

yes. I can make myself happy.

delivered my 8th speech in TM.
though I've been down these two days.

put my personal emotion aside,
I talked about foreign travel, which I am passionate about.

Iris gave me several huges from the begining of the meeting
Lyle gave me a very encouraging and positive evaluation
and then, I made a change:

instead of running back to the office right after the end of the meeting.
I stayed.
Carmen told me the grammatical mistakes can be improved
Bob reminded me to put the notes down so I can make fully eye contact with people
Manual enthusiastically spoke to me the tip to hide a note is paste in behind the prop
....I can see their passion. I can find their confirmation from their eyes.
and I am so pleased to find out, I can make myself happy.

I don't need to be a baby needing for mommy's attention
I don't need to be a princess waiting for a knight's rescue
I don't need to be a flower eager for a rain drop.
I can make the first move.
Reaching out, fighting back, dancing around
I can make myself happy.
And let the world to make me happy.

it just warms my heart

a low-key Monday
a little blue
cannot concentrate

was quiet in the morning, and turned to be lots of interruptions in the afternoon.

just when I felt I had enough
I heard someone calling my name

(what's now?!) I thought, annoyed.

and it's Rie
asking me if I want to go home together
since her husband is picking her up, she offers so I don't have to take the bus.

it just warms my heart. every time.
when I thought I had enough
when I thought the whole world is against me.
here it is, a little angel will come out
warms me
so I can smile, from the bottom of my heart

I love this world

Mr. Blue Sky

I love Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
It's the most romantic movie I've ever seen!
I am not a fan of Jim Carrey, yet I really like him in this film.
This is the kind of movie that Baby and I will watch when we are 70 years old and still enjoy it.

-----

Sun is shinin' in the sky,
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin'
Everybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day.
Runnin' down the avenue,(Pant, Pant, Pant)
See how the sun shines brightly
In the city on the streets
Where once was pity,
Mr. Blue Sky is living here today.

Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why,
You had to hide away
For so long where did we go wrong.
Hey there Mr. Blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do,
Everybody smiles at you.
Hey you with the pretty face,
Welcome to the human race
A celebration Mr. Blue Sky's
Up there waitin' and today
Is the day we've waited for

Mr. Blue you did it right,
But soon comes Mr. Night,
Creepin' over, now his
Hand is on your shoulder,
Never mind I'll remember you this way.

Artist: Electric Light Orchestra

sometimes I wonder

from weather.com:
Today
High/Low
84°/48°

I don't remember the temperature difference within a day would be so big in the past. For whatever reason, I think of global warming, I think of "the Day After Tomorrow," and I think of....

Sometimes those wild thoughts and some proven facts (i.e. the vigorous weather and natural disasters) make me panic - am I really going to have a kid and leave him/ her to this uncertain world?

On the other hand, there’s really nothing to argue or fight. If we would only exist for a limited period of time, we should cherish the days and enjoy to live on this beautiful planet – while we still can.

the Goal

I will provide good customer service.
I will keep my smile no matter how people react.
I am positive despite others’ negativity.
There's nothing wrong with a bureaucracy system; the only thing wrong if people act as bureaucratic

indirect marketing

http://www.j-oil.com/products/sarasara/
We saw this commercial on TV while staying Hokkaido.

It's sponsored by the cooking oil company. they made the world biggest korokke in the town of Assabu (厚沢部町), where is famous of meekuin (土豆).

Japanese is really smart when it comes to promotion. They don't stick to your ears and keep telling you "buy our food oil," “our meekuin is delicious”, or "use our onions."

They go indirect - they make "every 21th of the month is the curry day" in Furano, to encourage the consumption of onions, they make the world's biggest koroke to entice you make one with their food oil.

Very smart. ;)

馬克吐溫說

馬克吐溫說 沒有人真的知道什麼是完美的愛, 直到他們結婚了四分之一個世紀

Mark Twain says, "no man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century..."

the thing I hate of growing up is

I know how to "fear."

It's good sometimes, keep me away from being selfish.
i.e. not to put my hand in the fire so my mom wouldn't faint.

Most of the time, I hate it.
I hate I am paralyzed because of it.

I hate it’s telling me what I cannot make it
while my conscience is telling me I can achieve great things if I just do it.

When I have the urge just to start the business,
be a serious investor,
and write a story,
my fear kicks in telling me:
"What if people laugh at you?"
"Don’t you think it’s too late?"
“You can’t afford to lose.”

I just want to confront it and yell
"shut up! I will succeed. And you are not gonna stop me this time!"

why we always try to rescue?

Why apologize when it's not even your fault?
"I am sorry."
I realize, yes we do say it a lot; we, the women.

Are we saying it just to make the other person feel better?
When someone apologizes, we are always eager to say, "no, no, no, it's not your fault...." "i am sorry, too."
What for?

Why are we always trying to rescue?
When a friend said, "I am cold." we said, "do you want me to turn the AC down a little?" "Do you need my jacket?"
Similar things happen over and over; i don't write more because it's countless that i don't even remember.
But it happens to me when someone said that to me, or I said that to someone.

Men are not like that.
First, they don't tell you they're cold. they go to adjust the AC themselves.
Second, they don't offer any comfort or jacket. They probably would ignore it sine they don't know how to respond.

But, why are we trying?
Apologize: offer solutions, “is there anything I can help?”
Rescue: offer solutions, “you don’t have to do it.”
Just to patronize one and another? To prove that we are in control?

我不要當遊星325的國王

昨天晚上婆婆跟我們說
明天哥哥的前妻要來家住一個晚上

第一個反應是不太高興
這是我跟寶貝的家啊!
事後才被"告知"的感覺真不好
若婆婆答應人家前先跟我們講一聲　我們還是會答應的嘛

靜下想想
婆婆本身就是個重情義的人
她和前大嫂的關係不錯　加上對方帶著自己唯一的孫女
我了解她是覺得是能夠幫忙就幫忙

如果前大嫂提出要求時她還說 "啊　妳等等　我去問問可不可以"
必定很傷對方的心

我站在自己的立場只是單純地想保有一些自主權
反站在婆婆與前大嫂的立場　那是一份情誼與雪中送炭的精神

今早突然想起"小王子"裡遊星325的國王
他覺得每件事情都必須在他的命令下才可發生
像是太陽升起與降下下山、花朵綻放與枯萎
不過就算他不允許 世界還是這樣地運作呀

人之常情就像自然常規
就算不喜歡或不情願 我能夠試著體諒與學習
才不要這樣似是而非的控制權呢

千禧年之前的故事

二十七年前　我在紐約皇后區出生
春光明媚的四月底　那天特別炎熱
同年八月　爸爸帶著全家回台灣擔任教職
這是我不曾有過的記憶　卻是我生命的起點　

我是台北長大的小孩
幼稚園下課　捏著五塊錢站在陽台等著賣臭豆腐的阿伯經過
小學放學走路隊跟著姊妹淘與男生互相鬥嘴
國中狂迷高橋留美子的漫畫與惠妮休斯頓的音樂
高中同學在享受甜蜜十六歲時我只知道四點半準時到家

以為生命會在完成大學聯考之後結束　沒想到止不過剛完成了暖身

民生東路上的四年真正熟悉了這個城市街道的棋盤佈局
學業上不是低空飛過就是跟著學弟妹重修
了解到原來有了男朋友不代表就是懂了愛
爸媽把妳捧在手心上無怨無悔
而妳(以為)愛的那個人卻任意地把妳的尊嚴踩在腳下

在大四最黑暗最不知所錯的那段時期
爸爸的一句當頭棒喝讓我正視自己的未來

我決定來美國

二十三年的第一次離家自力更生
是在太平洋的另一端
新的一章從此開啟

現在回頭看　曾經的喜怒哀樂都已雲淡風輕
唯一留下的證據就是自己
我成為了自己一連串選擇下的成品
繼續地與外面的世界溝通
繼續地挖掘內在的世界

我的Pucca離開我了

沒有任何聲音　沒有任何訊息
我甚至不知道是什麼時候

星期一早上抓起手機時不經意地瞄到
掛在天線頭上一搖一晃的
只剩下原本她繫著的紅繩子與鑲有”PUCCA”的金色名牌

或許我早該在她上次的鬆落就警覺到
那是她要離開前最後傳遞給我的訊號
我們小小的緣分是起於2002年底的台北車站前
終止於2005 年四月的加州

儘管有點小失落
不過我也尊重她的選擇
相信無論在哪裡　她都會幸福與快樂

從那三千萬談起

一位慈善家捐了三千萬美元給寶貝唸的MBA學校
這筆錢是建校以來單人捐款最高的金額 無疑成了最近學校與地方新聞的熱門話題

為了感謝這份慷慨 商學院從此會以這位慈善家命名
今天我們共襄盛舉了這場命名典禮

除了覺得這位先生的貢獻很了不起外
當然私心還是會小小地想一下: "如果我有三千萬元..."
但是反過來想想 我有這樣的想法 表示我還不夠資格擁有這樣的富裕
正因為保羅先生已經沒有這樣的私心　他才夠資格擁有這樣的財產

很多事情都是這樣吧　名望也好、自由也好
越有慾望想得到某樣東西越是覺得追求得很辛苦
當真正擁有的時候反到澹然了

love and betryal, turth and forgiveness

if you love someone, why would you lie to the person?
If you betray your love, when would you be honest to the person?

If love is about truth, what would you do after knowing the truth?
The truth might be brutal, the truth might be cruel, and what would you do?

Dan wanted the "truth," but he never knew how to deal after getting the truth. Ironically, even he thought he knew everything, at the end, he realized he never knew her real name.

"Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist covered in blood"
... the movie "Closer"

遠行

我半顆心被裝在他的行李箱裡　一起飛到比利時
留在加州的　一半空是的自己

他從芝加哥飛往歐洲　之後手機只有鬧鐘功能
無法隨傳隨到　我依靠網路與行程表排練他的行蹤

旅館沒有電話答錄　只能靠櫃檯傳遞訊息
電話錢一秒一秒地燒　我滿腔的思念頓時不知如何反應
只能硬生生地說:

"我是小愛
我很好
好好享受你的旅行
我現在要去吃午餐了"

也許寶貝接到訊息時
可以想像愛妻如何彆扭地用台灣腔英語對著歐洲腔英語留言吧

emotiona needy male

They were totally different discussion, but suddenly they connected together.
Are men emotionally needy than women?

The initial discovery I found is that high-powered bachelorettes are outnumbered then bachelors.

For example, in our newest seven assistant professors, there are three guys and four ladies; they are all in their mid 30s-early 40s, while the guys are all married and ladies are all single.

Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of the State, as the female who has the highest political position in U.S. at present time, is single; George Bush, President, as the male who has the highest political poison in U.S. at present time, is married. (Moreover, you rarely see U.S. presidents were bachelors.)

Baby’s theory is, maybe it’s because man are more emotionally needy while women are more independent. Men need someone at home, kids and wife, to be at his support so he can concentrate on fighting against the outside world; at the other hand, a man cannot stand his partner cannot by his side if she’s consistently on the road and work. At contrary, women are more focused on their career that they don’t have time to spare for her family, moreover, it is a distraction to her since she feels guilty about not able to be with her love.

Today, T and I talked about how we cannot resist craving to cheer us up, and she said. “guys are not like this, they only eat when they are hungry.” And I realized, “ah-ha! That’s the missing link!” Girls are more dependent on materials, so we like shopping and enjoy good food. I remember long time ago reading a survey that finding out women would choose chocolate over sex to make them happy while men choose sex as a first place to release their stress.

Well, at the end, it’s only a little observation; I’d like to believe that guys are also sensitive rather then just being a sensational animal.

"家道中落"?

些早時看到一篇網誌　作者提到年幼時”家道中落”
不禁莞爾
這已經不是我第一看到別人用”家道中落”
來形容發生在自身上的故事

何謂家道中落?
是誰的家?什麼道?
不就是經濟狀況不好?
當然每個人都有自己表達方式的權利
但這四個字對我而言就是反感

講得自己好像是受了委屈
講得自己好像是王公貴族
每個人頭頂上都有一片天
前人的成功與否跟我們沒關係
用” 家道中落”來形容未免太不公平

對話

〉Are you alright?

〈I am good. How are you? :D

〉在趕論文
〉看你暱稱還以為你怎麼了*

〈 哈哈　沒事沒事　我膩了之前的暱稱　L建議我可以引用我喜歡的名言　所以我用了Dr. Seuss的這句話
〈論文加油唷

〉呵呵

〈謝謝關心(L)

〉不會 :D

〈再看看　這句話聽起來的確有點悲傷　我想想有什麼比較快樂的名言是我喜歡的...

〉哈哈
〉照片是在哪裡拍的呀

〈在Southcoast Plaza
〈號稱是全美營業額最高的購物中心　離我們家差不多十五分鐘的車程　
〈來南加州玩的話就帶妳去逛逛 ; )

〉嗯嗯
〉我最喜歡逛街了
〉哈哈

〈很好很好　那我們會是好拍檔

〉嘻嘻

〈我們有時候星期日會趁店家還沒開、人還沒開始多起來時去那兒走路 - 因為是室內所以不怕曬不怕下雨　面積大　一趟走下來還真有運動到

〉嗯
〉真是健康
〉我不知道多久沒運動了

〈呵呵　在台灣走路的機會很多呀　那樣的運動就很夠了
〈這裡因為出門都開車　所以非得週末有時間時動一動

〉嗯

〈嘿嘿　我找到新暱稱了**

〉呵蒿
〉this one is better

〈呵呵

*我那時的暱稱是” Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”
** “ if you love life, life will love you back”

the question behind a question.

M called to ask for some information on an old PO, so she can contact vendor’s help desk; she asked me to pull out the file.

“Can you try the PO number with them since you have it? Usually that’s all they need.” I was kind of reluctant to walk back to the giant Cabinet, open the cold door, and pull out the heavy folder, just to find a piece of paper.

“well, can you get the old file, so at least I have all the information when I call. It’s all the way back to New Jersey.”

I didn’t pay attention to her tone of voice (maybe I should be more observant.) “okay, I will get it.” I must be sounded unwilling.

…..
I got the PO. It’s Fi, which is located in Texas.
So I called, gave her the information she needs.
“It’s Fi, right? How come you have to call New Jersey?”

“well,” she signed, “I contacted NB first, which is the manufacturer of the equipment and whose 1-800 number is stick on the machine.” “Then they said, ‘Fi is the machine’s buyer, call them.’” “So I called, and was transferred to its xxx department; they say I should call NB.”..

“I was bounced back and forth by the two parties.”

Poor thing. No wonder she didn’t want to make an extra phone call if she wouldn’t have all the information. And I should have felt it – the question behind a question.

TM Meeting

I walked into the meeting thinking I will do the pledge/ inspiration as I got Susan’s confirmation email this morning.

Then, I saw the agenda saying I am the evaluator from Tan. The meeting started. I didn’t have the chance to ask Susan, “I thought….”

I was not happy. I was the hot seat and volunteered at a late notice. I was doing a favor! And now, at the last minute, I was informed to be another position!

I was not happy. When I listened to Tan’s speech, it made me angrier: I had to ask him myself for the manual to write my evaluation which he didn’t bring. He looked indifferent at his speech and plainly read through the draft.

I had so many negative thoughts at mind:
Hey, I was confirmed to do the inspiration!
I offered to volunteer and was screwed!
What the speech is that!
He should have done more preparation!

At the meantime, my positive angle arrived:
Isn’t the big picture that the meeting runs smoothly?
Who are you arguing with?
If you were Susan, what would you feel if you were confronted?
Hon said he just got over with Mid-term, don’t you think that is good enough he shows up and even manage to go on the stage?
He could have skipped this meeting.

Glad to the time thinking.
At the time I gave the evaluation, I decided to put my negativity aside:
I praised Hon’s focus on the objectives
I admired him being able to put everything together during the mid-term.

After the meeting, Hon appreciated my constructive feedback.
As I told him again how amazing he is just to come to the meeting after a non-sleep night, he said he felt responsible after missing so many meetings.

Glad again that I didn’t let my negativity out or it may put off his willingness to participate in the meeting.

Susan came to me to thank me. She told me she could have had me do two duties (since my last email saying I can do the evaluation if no one is going to,) but Susan C. said she can do the inspiration. Plus, because Susan C. is also Tan’s mentor; if she be the evaluator, Tan couldn’t get some other perspectives.

When I went back to the office, I saw Susan’s email. She sent right before the meeting saying the change of arrangement, I didn’t receive it until after.

I am so glad that I did put aside my resentment and have the positive side comes out. Everything turns out great~ =D

Dinning Out

Since baby and I are not eating out very much; even we do sometimes, we go for those old places we’ve know and loved. Therefore, going lunch with friends/ co-workers are like a chance to try something different.

Sometimes we find treasure. Like at the end of 2003, to celebrate our finish of the class, my Japanese teacher took the class to the Japanese restaurant “Fukada.” BB went with me and we immediately in love with its food. Now it’s our top two choice for Japanese food; the top one choice, Minato, was found when baby went to lunch with his co-worker.

Today my office went to Taco Time. A very friendly restaurant; decoration is neat and the food is good. Ah-ha, another good place for Mexican food adds on our list. =D

I see it coming

More and more women are successful in their career and in the society.
There’s news about U.K. saying last year was the first year female’s work force exceeded male.
The school I am working is promoting for gender equity, and the department has hired four female out of five professors during the two years since I came on board.
BB’s previous boss is a lady who is very capable and is recently promoted COO.

I am proud.

I used to believe that female can do great things.
It proves many women must were thinking about the same thing –
as I have seen so many of us achieving dreams and goals
as I have worked with so many wonderfully professional career women.

Though I am still frustrated when some people still materialize women or don’t pay any respect, those things will just be left behind since we are actually making the history. =)